Inhale. Exhale.

you want to know what i realized today? it is time to take the next step in my life even if it is a step into the dark. tomorrow Heather is moving up to logan for school and starting the chain reaction of all of us going out into the world with nothing but a dream and an empty apartment. all of my best friends that have been there for me through thick and thin are going to be gone. i mean ya i can still talk to them over the phone and what not but no more late nights and no more being together all day every day. oh my im going to miss these girls.

oh and one little detail i left out My Best friend got ENGAGED today!!! <3 <3 <3

i have honestly never seen anyone happier than this girl, --right now in this moment, in my whole life. i can't even believe that i am going to be helping her plan her wedding pretty soon. it's 2:30 AM so i should probably stop well im ahead {Life's too short to be anything but happy <3}

What Happened To Us??

What ever happened to the Innocence?? When children could turn on the T.V. without fear of what they'd see. When they could walk down the halls without plugging there ears When there were no violent word or actions, and no angry tears When there were no feelings of helplessness and no such thing as fear Back when drugs was a five letter word.. Back when hate and judgment were unheard of Back when kissing and holding hands was gross Back when we could feel safety in our own homes Back when kidnappers were just monsters in dreams And lieing and stealing only happened on screens Back when hearts could love and come out whole Back when drinks at parties didn't include alcohol Back when girls could accept themselves and there bodies Back when boys could cry without being teased by somebody Back when media and magazines didn't tell us who to be Back when having money for bills was a guarantee Back when songs on the radio weren't 50% bleeped Back when girls could wear skirts and not get hit on by creeps Back when Husbands and Wives would stay together forever Back when Families and Friendships stayed strong through whatever Back when Sex was a word only used by adults Back when girls didn't get pregnant at 16 years old Back when kids weren't abused, yelled at, or beaten Back when a girl could remeber the last time she'd eaten Back when make-up was used for your face not your bruises Back when in kids thoughts, suicide wasn't included Back when tobacco companies couldn't convince us Back when we could find strength and courage within us Back when no matter what we would stand for what's right Back when we wouldn't go down without a fight Back when even as teens our voices were heard Back when we weren't affected by other's words Back when we had our Innocence. . .

- Paige Lauren Young

3 Years together and you know nothing..

If you Really Knew me you would know that im not always as happy as i seem I plaster on a smile 10% to fool you 90% to fool my self into thinking im in a good mood but the truth is i get stressed out alot and when i should be thinking about the stuff that normal high school kids should think about i am too busy stressing about the future and all the ways that i can mess mine up if im not careful. If you really knew me you would know that im terrified of dissapontment but more than that i am terrified of dissappointing all the people that expected more from me and all of the people that i made promises-- promises i knew i couldn't keep. if you really knew me you would know that i am most scared of dissappointing my parents. that i worry to much and act more like a mom to my younger siblings then a sister. If you really knew me you'd know that i wear my heart on my sleeve, that i love to much and even if people warn me about you i'll give you an oppurtunity to prove them wrong but more often then not you turn out just like they all said. and me i'm left to listen to all of the "i told you so's" If you really knew me you would know that im a sucker for nicholas sparks movies that i hold on to the negative comments and they often drowned out the positive. IF you really knew me you would know that i love music, and if i could listen to it all day i would. you'd know that i have way to many celebrity crushes and i can quote every word of she's the man. you would also know that i love poetry but i'm scared to preform it. and you'd know that i still wont drive on the freeway IF you really knew me you would know that i have five best friends that are sisters than anything. you would know that im scared for college and this whole growing up thing but that i'm excited to find someone that will get to know all of these things about me.

Don't Kick The Chair

"There are lonely nights when you see no hope
and you're feeling short of breathe
like the whole damn world is a braided rope
in a noose around your neck.. Don't kick the chair"

The Boy Who Trapped The Sun - Copper Down

Radical Face - Welcome Home

I am staring at the eiffel tower. And it's staring back at me, the only difference is i look at her with amazement in my eyes but she, she looks at me saying "stop staring and come explore." Sometimes i wonder how long it'd take to get to the top and is the view really that great? will i find a painter, a hot french guy or just a bunch of tourists. do people in France take the eiffel tower for granted or do they go there every day like i wish i could. someday soon.. i'll explore

Poetry for dummies..

Roses are red Violets are Blue __________________ (something that rhymes with blue. ^^^^^ The Classic^^^^^ Or you could pretty much write anything in poetry format cuz the truth is it doesn't have to rhyme or fit the "social norm" You just write what you feel and guess what.... YOU are a Poet :)

I love anything and everything Nicholas Sparks! A WALK TO REMEMBER "Jamie saved my life. She taught me everything. About life, hope and the long journey ahead. I'll always miss her. But our love is like the wind. I can't see it, but I can feel it." THE NOTEBOOK " So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. And we're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that, because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day. " “I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours. ” “We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it.” DEAR JOHN “Our story has three parts: a beginning, a middle, and an end. And although this is the way all stories unfold, I still can't believe that ours didn't go on forever.” “I finally understood what true love meant...love meant that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be.” THE LAST SONG “Sometimes you have to be apart from people you love, but that doesn't make you love them any less. Sometimes you love them more.” “Mom says it's because she has PMS. Do you even know what that means? "I'm not a little kid anymore. It means pissed-at- men syndrome” THE LUCKY ONE " You should be kissed every day, every hour, every minute."

26 going on 13

So i get on my facebook and have a message from my 26 year old sister that reads:

Hey... i tag you in pics and vids all the time.  It would be nice to see you a little more involved in our lives.  I am making an effort on my part. (apparently by liking my facebook pictures??) Love you.

Me: haha... is this a joke??
i always accept all the pictures and videos you tag me in... what the crap??

Sister: No it's not a joke. You never comment or like anything.  I never hear back from you.  I am just letting you know that it would be nice to talk to you more. i am not trying to be rude, so you dont have to be.  i am just letting you know that i miss you and it would be nice to hear from you a little bit more. i got to skype with dad yesterday, so that was really nice.

Let me know when and if you want to talk.

Me: i was there when you guys were skyping...

Sister:  I saw you for like two seconds- you hardly said anything another example that you arent trying.
You don't have to go nuts and like every pic and be sarcastic just keep in touch.

Mom wanted me to split a ticket with her for you to come as your graduation present...

Well Tyler's brother is graduating too. Do you know how hard it is to win the battle of getting you sent, over his family, when his family is so involved. It is impossible. And to be honest, I don't really fight that battle. I cant argue that
I am not asking much. Family keeps in touch and communicates. At least I thought.
I just say all this cuz I care. If I didn't care about you, do you think I would really care that we talked?


HER STATUS UPDATE: (ONE MINUTE after i logged off)
Wow.  I am really starting to realize that i should start caring a whole lot less about people who obviously don't care much about me .  I have been reaching out and i am done. i am at peace with the fact that i have tried; and that is all i can do at least i have my own happy little family and the few people that i share a mutual realtionship with.

Please give me some advice thanks.

This ones for girls that sit at home on prom night.
get dressed up, blast some music, and dance.
you don't need a boy to do that.

This is for the 5 year old down the street that keeps getting on that bike no matter the cuts and bruises.

and the 11 year old that has less weeks to live than i can count on one hand..

For the dads that work long hours, and are home 1 week out of the month,
and the ones who will miss there first son being born while fighting for our freedom.

this is for that obnoxious talk show host ( does she really talk like that in person?)

 for that girl that gave her all to a boy that changed his mind.

and for the sweet old women who lost her house to debt.

this is for the druggies-- wear a beanie while eating an apple and you're a gonner.

For the police men who think they know it all

And for the girl in the yellow polka dot bikini, tell me, was it cold outside?

This is for the starving artists. and the closet poets.

Oh and that boy that sits two seats to my right... i find you attractive.

Jealousy is overated

Shout out to "The Devastation Diaries" i'm jealous of you.

So at first i was thinking of my favorite poems and poems that have influenced me . poems that i just think sound cool, or make me feel something. and then i thought who better to be jealous of then someone elses work that is my age but that i think surpasses me in talent my a solid mile... and then i remebered a blog. your blog.

 " Overture to Blog in B Flat"

Ah i wish i had your talent!

"This isn't what you think.

This isn't about getting to heaven. It was never about getting to heaven. This is about why I can't sleep at night." it kills me how simple but clever this is and i would never think of it. but i feel like you don't think you just write and that is something i want.

 

 

"..But I want you to know something about me: I'm invincible. I'm also breakable. I'm passive aggressive and ungrateful and blasphemous. One day I woke up in the morning and the whole solar system had fallen at my feet..."

 

i love that your thoughts are all over the place but perfect at the same time
"one day i woke up in the morning and the whole solar system had fallen at my feet..." I love that you make me believe you.

 

"I won the sun in the lottery but I didn't want it because nothing is ever good enough for me..."

 

Be prepared for me, but don't leave me.

"Because if I go to Hell for this blog, I'm taking you with me."

 

some people may argue (or not really care) that a blog post is not poetic but i disagree and aside from the fact that you make me feel bad about my own writing i am jealous of whatever him/her/it that wrote this... if only i could be more.like.you.

 

 

" A Picture's Worth 1000 Words."

What am i saying??

Live to Dream

I dream about nothing & everything.

There are dreams i hardly remember and then there are dreams that i will never forget. dreams that are etched in my brain under To-Do. those dreams are the ones i love the most.

It is important to know that dreams will become reality.

i know that if given the time here to do so i will become a peditrician with a beautiful family and that i will be able to raise my kids the way they should be raised. and i know that i will be able to fly one day too!--k well that one was under the "In Heaven" section because in heaven guess what i'm going to do.. Fly!

There is no limation to dreaming if you can dream it you can do it. Unless of course like me you dream of marrying Him

Or Him

Or Him

Or Him

Or Him

Or Him

Or Him

Or Him

Or whoever this is

Because chances are that's not gonna happen but i mean hey it never hurts to dream.

I am a Dreamer

Because i am a dreamer.

i

know that

i

can

do

whatever

i

put

 my 

 mind

to.

i

know

 that

 everytime

 i

fail

 it

increases

my

chances

of

sucess.

But

most

of

all

i

know

that

dreams

come

true.

Because i am a dreamer I Believe.



Follow Your Heart Not Your Bones.

Bones.courage.courage.bones
Sometime i get inspired by 2 words to write poems.
Poems who's audience are no one but bones,
my bones.




Courage is giving your bones a vacation. It is time they shut up and let me do what i want.
Courage is forgetting-- forgetting--for.. sometimes i forget what im getting out of this thing i call life.


Forgetting is hard sometimes.


 like when you get your heart broken or when your mom yells at you or when no matter how hard you try for something it never seems to turn out write wait that's not write, right. sometimes i have the courage to write what i feel inspite of the fact that the only eyes this post is gonna see are mine.


My bones control my eyes they don't let me see the bad in others-- my bones hurt me. they do what they want and all i can do is sit there and watch them do it- if they let me watch that is.


If you're reading this i think you're amazing, and i hope you know who you are. and i hope that you don't turn out to be like every other guy out there. I hope you make mom proud and i hope that you don't let what they say to you hurt you because they are wrong. i am wrong. we all are. I hope you have the courage to forgive me and i hope you have the courage to follow your heart- it is pure and true. i hope that when you look at me with those eyes that you see good.  


I have to stop writing now because my bones told me to. and all the mean things that i said to you that was my bones to. and when i'm grumpy or rude, or not in the best mood-- yep, my bones make me act like that too.

At 17 it's hard to see past friday night..

"...oh you got so much going for you going right
But I know at 17 it's hard to see past Friday night
She wasn't right for you
And still you feel like there's a knife sticking out of your back
And you're wondering if you'll survive
You'll make it through this and you'll see
You're still around to write this letter to me

At the stop sign at Tomlinson and Eighth
Always stop completely don't just tap your brakes
And when you get a date with Bridgett make sure the tank is full
On second thought forget it that one turns out kinda cool
Each and every time you have a fight
Just assume you're wrong and daddy is right
And you should really thank Mrs. Bringman
She spend so much extra time
It's like she sees the diamond underneath
And she's polishing you 'til you shine

And oh you got so much going for you going right
But I know at 17 it's hard to see past Friday night
Tonight's the bonfire rally
But you're staying home instead because if you fail Algebra
Mom and dad will kill you dead
Trust me you'll squeak by and get a C
And you're still around to write this letter to me

You've got so much up ahead
You'll make new friends
You should see your kids and wife
And I'd end up saying have no fear
These are nowhere near the best years of your life

I guess I'll see you in the mirror
When you're a grown man
P.S. "go hug Aunt Rita every chance you can"

And oh you got so much going for you going right
But I know at 17 it's hard to see past Friday night
I wish you'd study Spanish
I wish you'd take a typing class
I wish you wouldn't worry, let it be
I'd say have a little faith and you'll see

If I could write a letter to me
To me"

- Brad Paisley

Live On < 3

You want me to write about life a dealth... Here are 3 amazing and wonderful people who's lives here on earth were cut short. They all were so full of life and had so much life to live and i'm sure they're living it up in paradise. They left there mark here and will never be forgotten.

This Year- especially these past few months have been a surreal example of the power this evil world can have and how you can have someone you love with all your heart with you one second and gone the next. Every person is a blessing given to us by god. a blessing that is not to be taken  for granted. In every struggle there is a lesson to be learned.  Vance, Micah, and Jake have changed lives. They each had the power to brighten my day with a simple smile, or a joke, and they always new just what to say.  

Life is a Beautiful gift. Waking up every day to a clean slate knowing that you have the power to determine the outcome of that day is incredible. if you are not enjoying your life then change something. wether it be your attitude, friends, or curcumstances there is always an answer and there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

We never really know if today is our last day.. death can sneek up on us which is why it is so important to enjoy the now. take a chance- a step into the dark. and never give up on your dreams.

if you're not loving what you're doing DONT DO IT.

So you say you love me...

" When i say i love you, it's not because i want you
or because i cant have you,
It has nothing to do with me. -KM "




 I

 

   L

    O

      V

        E

         

           Y

             O

               U

3 words. 8 letters. 1 meaning. Right?

wrong.

I love you can be said with absolutely no meaning at all,

just 8 letters that happened to fall together--

Please never let it come to this.

When you say i love you mean it.

fall in love and not in hate

make mistakes but learn from them

and keep searching.. it's never too late.

It might take a while

and your heart might have to break

but please when you say i love you dont be fake.

A heart is something special

We came to earth with our hearts nice and full

But now because of 3 words-- said but not meant

Some hearts leave this earth with some holes.

Saying i love you is heard, lets face it.

So how do you know if you meant it when you say it?

It will put a smile not only on your face, but on your heart

And that smile wont go away even when you're apart.

                                                                        - Amelia Mae <3

" Once you realize what's in front of you,

that spark-- that passion-- that feeling..

Never let it go.  Once you've lost it,

you can never get it back."

Hello Phobia

We live in fear- we all live in fear.


Fear is learned. you dont just wake up one morning and have all these fears within you..
They are taught to us by society and by experience.


I am Not Afraid of clowns.  I am Not afraid of spiders or being kidnapped.
I am Not afraid  of dying before i even get the chance to live.  And i am Not afraid of losing someone i love.


Im afraid of myself.

I'm afraid of love but some how i always find myself seeking it because love is more powerful than any fear.


I am Not afraid of you and the power that you have on me- of being judged. I am Not even afraid of failure.

I am Not afraid of love because i am not afraid of disappointment.  I'm Not afraid of the freeway and i am Not afraid of my opinion of myself...

" Taking chances, and being risky are parts of life, that many people tend to avoid.  Without overcoming out fears we limit ourselves to a life full of not knowing what we are truly capable of.  Taking chances is all about evaluting whether or not we want to continue liveing a boring life full of saftey nets and restraint, or if we want to push ourselves to new limits that we never enven imagined we could reach."

Take every chance. Drop any fear. Prove people wrong.  Listen to your heart.

Life..

       Life is a gift. a wonderful beautiful gift. so why don't we treat it like one? not going to lie i take my life for granted sometimes, like those days that i just want to end or when i waste a whole day sleeping or watching t.v. but i never really realized that when i wake up in the morning and live another day i am more lucky than the 146,000 people around the world that weren't as fortunate as me.  some of which didn't even live to be half my age. The truth is i never know when it'll be my last day.  And i like it that way because then i can really live everyday like it's my last. and as sad as it seems it very well could be.

      Too often i find myself wasting precious time, time that with every second of life is a second closer to running out so when i get the chance to dance i do it.  I sing even though im not a singer; i laugh until i cry, and i love more then i should.  But most of all when trials rain upon me , i have the courage to dance in the rain. <3

Im Thinking About You...

You wonder when the last time i thought about you was... well honey i can't remember the last time  i wasn't thinking about you.


im thinking about you like bees think about honey,
honey im thinking about you like the wealthy think about money.
like the deaf think about sound and the blind think about sight.
im thinking about you like birds think about flight. and darkness thinks about light.
cuz honey you are my light.


I'm thinking about you like sinks think about dishes
and shooting stars think about wishes, and i wish that you'd think about me too.. 


im thinking about you like hands think about holding
like hearts think about beating and what not...


im thinking about you like flowers think about wether you love me or love me not.
  


I'm thinking about you like little girls think about fairytales,
 and dreams and being a ballerina when they grow up.
im thinking about you like love thinks about lasting
like love spells think about casting
i'm thinking about you more than i should so i'll stop.but i cant. 


im thinking about you like candles think about fire and fire fighters think about fighting fires.
 and honey when i think about you my heart's on fire.
 im thinking about you like twitter thinks about tweets,
 like match.com thinks about someone new for you to meet.


im thinking about you like you think about her
like she thinks about him but he's not thinking about her.
 and i know you might not think about me as often as id like,
 but i don't think i'll ever not be thinking about you.

{{Blessed}}

Laugh A Little :)

Guys should copy all of the pics girls take haha :)

Get Real.

Im not your Average girl i  have dreams that will come true.
I wear what i want and i say what i say cuz im not here to impress you.
i don't judge others, i could be your best friend.
i eat what i want cuz it doesn't matter what size i am.
But do you accept me?  NO.

Im not your average girl i have dreams that will come true.
I wear what i want and i say what i want cuz im not here to impress you.
I don't judge others, i could be your best friend.
I starve myself trying to look like you, this will never end.
But do you accept me? NO.

Im not your average girl i have dreams that will come true.
I wear what i want and i say what i want cuz im not here to impress you.
I've dropped all my friends now because to you they don't "fit in".
I starve myself trying to look like you this will never end.
But do you accept me? NO.

im not your average girl i have dreams that will come true.
I wear what YOU want and i say what YOU say cuz im trying to impress YOU .
I've dropped all my friends now because to you they don't "fit in".
I starve myself trying to look like you this will never end.
But do you accept me? NO.

Im just your average girl, more fake than i am true
I'll wear what YOU want and i'll say what YOU say cuz im trying to impress YOU .
I've dropped all my friends now because to you they don't "fit in".
I starve myself trying to look like you this will never end.
But do you accept me? NO.

I'm inches away from dying, my life is nearly through.
But who is there to pick me up? My best friends. not you.
You never will accept me but guess what i do not care.
I finally got the courage to open my eyes and stepped out of  this hell.

Each of us were born 100% real.
Find the real you and hold on tight
cuz in the blink of an eye you can lose your sight.

Love.. What is it really??

What is Love?

"Is it the face of a child

Is it the thrill of danger

Is it the kidness we see in the eyes of a stranger

Is it more than faith

Is it more than hope

Is it waiting for us at the end of our rope

  

Is it the one you call home

Is it the Holy Land

Is is standing right here holding your hand

Is it just like the movies

Is it rice and white lace

Is it the feeling I get when I wake to your face

Is it the first summer storm

Is it the colors of fall

Is it having so little

And yet having it all

Is it one in a million

Is it a change to belong

Is it standing right here singing this song..."
-Sugarland

http://youtu.be/TWpnGWvJThY

Yes love is all of these things. but it is also so much more. when we think of love we imagine the butterflies in our stomachs, happily ever after kind of love.  reality check love, more often then not is far from a  fairytale. You love and you lose. sometimes it's not always like the movies. and beleive it or not you have to get your heart broken more than a few times to really be able to appreciate it.

Love will break your heart but it is the only thing that can heal it after it's broken. Love makes life worth living and TRUE LOVE makes all the bad experiences worth it.

When you have TRUE LOVE that is when it really counts-  When you care so much more about the well being of the person you love than you do you yourself. when its not about who will look good on your arm but who will be an amazing father to your children and who you would be just as privleged to have as your husband as he would to have you as his wife. when you have TRUE LOVE nothing else matters. not the bills on the counter or the stupid little fights. With true love you can make it through anything.   

Who am I?..

I don't really like talking about myself. in fact, i don't like it one bit. But hey i guess its always proper to introduce yourself huh?..

I chose the pen name Amelia Mae for 2 reasons: one because of Amelia Earhart. She was incredible and no matter what anyone told her she went after her dreams. Second though, i chose aMElIa MAe becasue if you take the capital letters and unscrammble them they are
"I AM ME." and that is exactly who i am. 

 I love to smile, music is my escape, and i fear becoming someone im not. I love to find purpose in everyday and i try to take advatage of every moment that i am blessed to have here on this earth. Too often we take life for granted, i am guilty of that too. I have an amazing family, they are my world. and a group of friends that are more like sisters than anything. I am motivated by my future and am excited to see what it has in store for me. i believe that everyday is a new day with new possiblites. and that how my day goes eachday it is 100% my choice. I'm crazy,fun,peaceful,stressed,happy,mad, sad, out-going,reserved,busy, loney.. (just depends on the day.)


I AM ME <3